“I am practicing…”: Part of the Conscious Communication Series
In this article, we delve into the power of practice. We explore how a simple shift in language can reframe our perceptions, nurturing our growth and enabling us to develop skills we once thought were inherent. We’re all familiar with phrases such as “I am patient” or “I am brave”. However, patience, bravery, and a host of other qualities aren’t fixed traits. They are skills that can be honed with practice, and acknowledging this can be transformative.
Why “I am practicing…” Matters
Words can be incredibly powerful. They shape our thoughts, and in turn, our reality. If we view bravery, kindness, vulnerability, and other qualities as inherent traits, we confine ourselves within the limits of a fixed mindset. Conversely, adopting a “practice mindset” allows us to engage with our potential for growth and development. By saying, “I am practicing patience” / “Please practice patience “ instead of “I am patient,” / ‘Please be patient” we acknowledge the potential for growth and remind ourselves that it’s okay to stumble and feel the discomfort of learning as we practice.
The Neuroscience of Practice
Neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections — is a testament to the power of practice. The more we engage in a skill, the stronger the related neural pathways become. This process of strengthening and forming new connections continues throughout life, reinforcing the understanding that growth and development are integral parts of human nature.
Skills that can be Practiced
A variety of qualities are often considered inherent traits, but they are, in fact, skills that can be developed with practice. Let’s consider a few:
Bravery: Courage isn’t something we’re born with. It can be fostered, nurtured, and developed through intentional action and practice. I often say to my kids “It’s ok to feel scared. We can practice bravery together”. And I describe that we don’t really need to practice bravery unless we are feeling scared, so sometimes we might be practicing bravery about something that someone else does not feel fear about.
Kindness: Although it may come naturally to some, kindness can be practiced and honed, becoming a part of our everyday behaviour. Along these lines it’s worth remembering that skills we practice often are those we begin to master — something to consider next time we notice ourselves about to practice unkind behaviours.
Vulnerability: Showing our authentic selves and opening up to others can feel scary, challenging, and uncomfortable. With practice, vulnerability can become a strength.
Patience: This is a skill often tested in our fast-paced world, and it can be developed through mindfulness and conscious practice. This doesn’t mean we only practice during meditation or mindful activities either — this is a skill best practiced whenever we feel ourselves trying to rush ourselves or others.
Public Speaking: Many of us fear public speaking — fears of rejection, failure, judgement, social comparison can all surface in these situations. However, with regular practice, anyone can become a confident and effective public speaker.
Compassion: Empathy and understanding for our own and others’ feelings can be nurtured through practice, promoting deeper and healthier relationships. When we practice compassion, we’re more likely to replace the practice of judgement — something many of us could benefit from unlearning.
Empathy: Developing the ability to understand and share the feelings of others can improve our connections with those around us. I believe there are different views around empathy. We can practice empathy by creating a safe space to feel our feelings, or for others to feel theirs. Empathy is often described as taking on the emotions of another — this can sometimes be problematic when we take on the emotions of others and effect our own physical and emotional health. Therefore it’s worthwhile reminding ourselves that we can acknowledge the emotional experience of another by remembering a time we have experienced similar emotions, without then taking on board those feelings. It’s about practicing the creation of space for another to release their emotions safely.
Acceptance: Embracing the things we cannot change is a skill that can bring peace and contentment in our lives.Also accepting that even when we can make change that change can take time, and that we may have to accept the present for what it is and keep working towards change even if we feel frustrated and impatient in the interim.
Practical Suggestions for Embracing the Practice Mindset
- Reframe Self-Talk: Instead of saying “I am…,” use “I am practicing…” or even just “I can practice…”. This small shift can have a profound impact on how we perceive our capabilities. We are all capable of change and we may need the reminder at times, even if it comes from ourself.
- Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small. Celebrating progress encourages further growth.
- Accepting that Mistakes are Part of Learning: Remember that it’s okay to stumble. Mistakes are not failures; they are opportunities to learn and improve.
- Nurture Patience: Developing new skills takes time. We need to practice patience with ourselves and others, trusting that we’re all on the path of growth and doing the best we can with what we know and have the capacity for.
As we consciously integrate the language of practicing into our lives, we embrace our capacity for growth, change, and improvement. We can foster the development of skills that make us kinder, braver, and more understanding individuals. We can consciously choose to cultivate a mindset of practice, recognizing the limitless potential within each of us. Ironically, consciously choosing our language is a skill that requires practice like any other.
