How to Unlearn Misophonia and Overstimulation: My Journey and Practical Steps
Do you feel overstimulated by loud sounds or incredibly irritable when you hear noises like someone else chewing?
Growing up, several family members had misophonia, a condition where certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that others might consider unreasonable. I was constantly criticized or corrected for any noises I made that they didn’t like. Although I felt uncomfortable when others made similar noises, as a people-pleaser, I often bottled it up, becoming short and snappy instead. This was far from healthy.
When I had kids, I realized that loud noises triggered me. I wondered if this was related to misophonia or something else. Over time, I discovered that my sensitivity to loud noises was linked to growing up in a home filled with yelling, which made me feel unsafe.
As I became aware of this, I started to notice when I felt triggered and wanted to tell my kids to be quieter or turn down the music. I tried to control the situation to make myself feel better. But what I really needed wasn’t control; it was regulation. I had to remind myself that I was safe and model to my brain and nervous system that I didn’t need to react. I could acknowledge the discomfort, sit with it, and let it go.
The more I practiced this, the less triggering loud sounds became. I had gathered enough evidence for my nervous system to show it was safe to just sit with the noise.
Rewiring the Nervous System
Our nervous system works similarly to AI. To teach AI, you feed it lots of data models and label them. In this case, you might label different sounds as ‘safe’ or ‘unsafe.’ By applying this approach to my own experiences, each time I felt discomfort and triggered, I focused on my breath and reminded myself:
“I am safe. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. I don’t need to control the situation. It’s okay to just sit with this.”
Over time, there were enough data models to ‘update’ my base programming that loud noises weren’t dangerous.
Applying This to Misophonia
If you grew up being overcorrected, expected to follow very strict manners, and not make noise, those corrections and potential punishments made you feel unsafe. Or maybe someone around you used to chew loudly when they were angry, making you associate that sound with feeling unsafe.
There are many reasons you may have developed misophonia or sound overstimulation, but it’s also possible to rewire these responses. Neuroplasticity shows us that these patterns can be unlearned. If someone says, “That’s just the way I am; I need it quiet,” it’s worth asking why. Quiet probably feels safe and comfortable. However, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn to feel safe and comfortable in different settings.
Steps to Rewiring Your Response to Sound
- Identify Triggers: Notice what sounds trigger your discomfort. Is it specific noises or general loudness?
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel discomfort without judgment. Recognize that it’s a response learned over time.
- Practice Mindfulness: Focus on your breath and remind yourself that you are safe. Use affirmations like, “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. I don’t need to control the situation.”
- Expose Gradually: Gradually expose yourself to triggering sounds in a controlled manner. Start with lower volumes and shorter durations, and increase as you become more comfortable.
- Seek Support: Consider working with a therapist or coach who understands misophonia and can guide you through the process.
Unlearning misophonia and sound overstimulation is a journey. It requires patience and consistency, but it is possible. By reprogramming your nervous system and practicing mindfulness, you can learn to feel safe and comfortable in various auditory environments.
Lisa Pircher-Reid is an Information Scientist who hosts the ‘Know More Do Better’ podcast and is the author of the ‘Healthier’ series. If you’d like to learn more from her directly, subscribe to her newsletter here.
